Adventure Brunch #24 -- August 19, 2019

Dear Diary,

Yesterday the party of Methty, Shakax, Yucria, Zura, and I--the best bard there is and ever will be, Hadija--set out to assassinate 2 of 3 hag sisters blighting areas of personal interest to Zura. Much planning and strategy was discussed. The party spent a pretty penny of gold to prepare for their adventure. I personally got several bags of candy, dresses, a snugglebeast (SO FLUFFY!), and a motherfucking pony with a unicorn horn hat because priorities!

Part I: 
First off was to find and kill the hag named Veingiggle. Zura is apparently shit at directions because we wandered around for 1.5 days trying to find the hag's lair but we eventually stumbled across it. First time in my life, I saw toadies throwing smaller toadies in the air and hitting them with short bows. If that wasn't freaky enough, the little toadies exploded like bombs upon impact. Everyone was engaging with a few baddies here and there. I was at the shore kind of minding my own business when a giant toad came up behind me and engulfed the entirety of my body--other then my tootsies--and took me for a most mucusy ride. I was freed eventually but I don't remember how; all I know is that when I wasn't vomiting, I was screaming the entire time. Shakax busted in through the hut on the island in the center of the lake like a boss, and we killed off the toadies we could, entered a hidden orifice (under a really heavy rock), fought a hag, some illusionary hags, more toadies, and then the walls, floor, ceiling, everything turned into the inside of giant stomach which tried to digest us. I got engulfed by another motherfucking toad until I made it EXPLODE FROM THE INSIDE! Shakax jumped the Hag and held her while he was stunned and blinded (badass) while we took turns stabbing her dead. End of the story of Veingiggle.

Part I.5:  
We found a bunch of poor victims of the hag, kept in cages and bleeding out into terracotta pots. I insisted we free them! I played my super cool song of rest, and we stabilized them. We came back to free them after Part II...

Part II:
We found a chest in the fugly hag's bedroom that linked the lair of the now very stabbed Veingiggle to the soon to be very stabbed Crypttangler. (How convenient!!?!) Zura and Methty talked about a bunch of stuff and about how to get into the tree house from the chest but I wasn't paying attention. All I know is Zura popped out of the chest like an idiot, and immediately this shadow came and grabbed everyone and deposited us outside the house like a bunch of garbage... SO HUMILIATING! The fight was on but this hag was more powerful than the other one... She kept on changing the field of battle, summoning minions and changing our position and circumstances. It was pretty frustrating. My memories are pretty hazy about the last bits though. Apparently the hag grabbed me and charmed me into attacking the rest of the party, but I don't remember. I kind of doubt it because if all that did happen, everyone would totally be dead because I'm a BAMF but I don't have a better explanation. Zura made up for being such a terrible navigator by blinding, stunning, fearing, and some other things (I dunno; I was told) and finished stabbedy stab stabbing the second hag. Everyone then "helped" me come to my senses and told me to Knock some chests. The very first chest was filled with the skulls of children and EXPLODED IN MY FACE! It knocked out Zura and I, and made us almost bleed out. No more chest opening for me! Apparently people own Healers Kits but don't bring them out on adventures...

I walked away with a bunch of new experiences and 30gp which didn't seem like enough for what I went through but I did make a bunch of gold on the previous adventure so maybe next time will be better. I know Shakax was pissed off. You know dragonborn and their hoarding... maybe I'll check in with him later.

Zura and Methty walked away with a bunch of magical items. I'll have to check the auction house to see what they sell for and remind them about how much my healing totally saves their asses. Enough for now.

May the sun always shine in your eyes,

Hadija

P.S. What should I name my unicorns? I have TWO new ones!


Items from last adventure:
  • Spell Book - An exotic looking book covered in a black/green mucus... Find Familiar (Dark Toad) (w/Zura & to the Auction House)
  • Spell Book - An exotic looking book covered in a black mucus... Find Familiar (Darkling) (To Iossa the Fall elf we saved)    
  • Wand of Magic Detection (w/Zura & to the Auction House)
  • Wand of Poison bolts - Shoots bolts of poison (10 charges) only does 1hp damage but grants disadvantage on all checks for the rest of the round. Regains 1d4 charges at dawn.  If all charges are expended roll d20 and under 10 the wand is destroyed.  (w/Zura & to the Auction House)
  • Wand of Shadow Bolt  - (10 charges) 1d10+Cha Shadow Damage & target is ½ speed for the rest of it's turn gains 1d4 charges at dawn.  If all charges are expended roll d20 and under 10 the wand is destroyed.(w/Zura & to the Auction House)
  • Hags Bane Dagger (Arcane Focus) (w/Zura)
  • Smoked Glass Monocle - Sees Invisible (Zura, prob keeping it)(Totally cool item!)
  • Medallion of Authority - Wondrous Item (neck), uncommon, requires attunement by a Character of Good Alignment  (Zura, prob keeping it) (Totally Cool item!)
    A gleaming medal that takes the form of a universal symbol of your deity and purpose. As such, it looks different for each person that attunes to it. Abilities increase with the time it is attuned for.  If you have a neutral or evil alignment this item burns to the touch.
  • Bottle #1 -  Black Liquid w/Green Swirls? (W/Methty)
  • Bottle #2 -  Liquid Wood?  (W/Methry)
  • Chest Soul Larvae (To Xarris?) 
  • Midnight Cauldron -  (W/Methty)(To the Auction House maybe?)
  • Circlet of the Minor Grove -  Wondrous Item (Head), Rare requires attunement by a Grove Guardian, Druid, or Ranger (Can only be used inside attuned Grove) Granted only to those who have risen high in the ranks to Grove Guardian this Circlet grants the wearer dynasty over the green they protect.  Once per day the wearer can cast polymorph onto itself, turning into a Treant and gaining its stats.   Your size becomes large, you assume only 70 HP, you cannot use multi-attack, and your rock attack only does 2d10+3 bludgeoning Damage (w/Zura)(BAMF)